simonalkenmayer:

I don’t go to other people’s blogs and harass them. I leave comments in reply to interesting content, all of it from an honest place intent upon either utilizing the content for myself or augmenting it. I usually have a strict policy against ad hominem attack and I do nothing all day long but try to engage in polite conversation, answer requests for advice, and try to share the knowledge I possess.

That you came here on a whim to make a joke of me is offensive only to me, and frankly, only minutely so, as I will undoubtedly outlive you and could “give a shit” what children do on the internet. There’s no lasting impact there, and I’m old enough to laugh at the completely fathomless wastes of time humans get up to when lacking in higher brain functions of a worthwhile degree. What angers me about your presence here is that, unprovoked, you attempted to undermine something that many people hold to be a safe place…because I made a joke about a cat not liking me. You came to mock not just me, but an entire group of people who see my blog as a rallying point of inclusion…over a long-standing blog-wide meme on my site about my agreement with cats. People come to me from very broken homes, from poverty, from distress and psychological need. I work very diligently to keep this a space of equality and friendship. 

You came and decided that threatening me with death was amusing to you. Aside from being utterly impotent, it more importantly insulted my friends and readers. You’re not welcome here. Return and I will doxx you. I’m sick of you little whiny brats with your breedbating and bullying of others. I’m sick to death of you puerile shits who think it’s funny to hurt people’s feelings. I eat people like you every day and it gives me immense pleasure to do so. 

So get the fuck off my blog and don’t return. You’re disgusting. 

I don’t have any clue what an ARG is or why people keep bringing it up. I recognize that I’m not the only person on this hell site that claims to be a cryptid. I am however, the only one who actually is one, of that I am sure. I am also the only one who is actively trying to collect data. The more humans pretend to be cryptids, the more you immerse yourselves in fiction and the more mental breakdown occurs. It’s fascinating to watch, but also bizarre. 

Humans used to absolutely know that my species was real. They got many of the details wrong, which is why there are so many different myths of cryptids, but they knew we were real. The more you toy with creating fictions of us, the more we are erased. Slowly you create myths that we were once you, and that you can be us, and that the lines of speciation do not matter. Slowly you try to merge with us in fiction, but if ever someone says “That is not real, and this is what is…” the backlash is vicious and bizarrely confrontational.

I know about the humans who claim to be cryptids. That’s why I chose now to run this experiment, but I can assure you, if you read any of my materials, you will discover, I am in earnest and this is not a game. My facts are verifiable. My references are sound. I’ve concealed only those things that could lead a person directly to me, because I’m not interested in deliveries.

Humans are a fascinating species, but tiresome, so if you come here to tell me I’m an asshole for being whatever an ARG is, then please don’t waste your time or mine. I’d prefer it if you simply pass right along to the block button and mind your own business. It might also help if you took a moment to think about why you are so viciously hateful toward anyone who might be enjoying themselves.

Of course, I realize that might be asking for a level of self-analysis that likely escapes you, but a cryptid can hope that the human race isn’t all buffoons who burn brightly for an instant only to snuff themselves out in equal fervor.