One of my favorite things you’ve said is in your bio, “I am uniquely qualified to run this excitement, you see, because I exist.” I’ve taken to using that when someone discredits something I say— “I am entitled to have an opinion because I exist, same as you.” A different meaning, coming from a human girl rather than a people-eating monster, but I like it all the same. So thank you, Simon, for providing a nice line to use in uncomfortable situations.

Opinion- A belief held by an individual based on experience

Qualification – a degree of expertise obtained through advanced study, experience, or prolonged exposure to a given topic.

My opinions may inform inquiries of my qualifications. My qualifications may inform my opinions, but regardless of how I feel about something, my qualifications are incontrovertible. At least in terms of how I state them in this self-contained reality. 

You are uniquely qualified to discuss your life and the facets of your life, events that transpired to or figuring you. No one can ever deny you that. All opinions aside, including your own opinions about yourself or theirs about you. Those don’t matter, when your life is being discussed. 

You are uniquely qualified to inform humanity about your own personage and past.

Can you feel/sense when someone’s anxiety flares up? If you’re fond of said person do you act on the shift in their comfort levels?


I want to point something out, given that recent critique of my writing style. I perceive a large set of sensory data at every given second. It is intensely difficult for me to write my experience without taking up all the oxygen in the room. Much of what I write does not fully account for my true experience, but that’s how it has to be to avoid being so dry people hear my work in the voice of Ben Stein. Obviously, according to some, I fail at this, but I cannot be all things to all people.

What I am trying to say is, I am very perceptive, to the point of often being accused casually of being psychic. It isn’t magic. It’s simply how things work for us. I’ll say this, though–it’s tremendously useful for blending in, for being accommodating, for making friends…

And the experiment and the mode in which I’ve chosen to set it removes that entirely.

This medium, the internet, removes any and all perceptional advantages I might have, and that is intentionally done. 

Thank you for giving me the platform to address this particular issue, one which has been on my mind of late.

Hey Simon, I seem to remember you mentioning this previously somewhere but I was curious if you’re able to easily determine if a human is lying,* and also while writing this wondered if you prefer “Simon,” “Simone,” or if “Simon(e)” is okay/weird/good, etc. *iirc your senses allow you to read us well and was curious if/how that allows you to determine truth vs lies. Also my apologies if i missed this but where can we find the surveys?

Surveys not written yet.

I determine lies very simply–vis the same means as a polygraph. I can hear heart beats, small chemical changes, feel temperature shifts, see pupil dilation, and have an incredible baseline of human deceit upon which to base pattern recognition.

I have no preference as to name, pronouns, gender assignments, or sexuality. 


1. N. The act of interrupting someone while they are speaking.

Example: Misogynists often use interfation as a technique to undermine women in the workplace.

This word went out around the end of the seventeenth century. You’re not going to be able to find much to confirm this word existed unless you happen to own a dictionary from the turn of the 17th century, but I assure you, it is real.

Random Food Generator Challenge


The Challenge:
I am going to spin an online random food ingredient generator several times. You may select whichever set of ingredients you find easiest to work with. You must then create a dish containing all of the ingredients. Anyone may enter. You do not have to be a reader of mine to participate, though I do hope you will hang around.

The Rules:

  1. All entries must be a reblog of this original post
  2. All entries must include a written recipe so that it can be recreated
  3. All entries must include a picture of the results
  4. All entries must indicate which ingredient list they are using by the number given them in this post.
  5. You may use whatever additional ingredients you wish, but each entry must contain all four items in one of the following lists.
  6. You may use whatever cooking styles, culinary traditions, appliances or implements you wish.

The Deadline:

All entries are due by the last day of June 2018

The Winner:

I will send out a voting post on the last day of June which contains links to all the recipes. Voters will be allowed to choose a numbered recipe from that list (no name will be attached at the time) and register their vote vie a comment on the post.

The Prize:

  • $30 Gift card to a food related website
  • A kitchen implement of my choosing
  • Proper kitchen attire (What do I mean? It’s a surprise)
  • A copy of my cookbook, but only if you’d like it. If not, I’ll think of something else to throw at you of a similar value.

The Ingredients:

These are your four sets of ingredients. You must choose only one list and your submission must contain every item on it (which must be reflected in the recipe you write), in addition to whatever extra things you add to create your dish. If you have a health concern (all lists contain something you cannot eat) then contact me directly, and we will generate another random item to use in place of the one you are casting out.

  1. Brown rice, bacon, chili peppers, pineapple
  2. molasses, coconut, creme fraiche, marsala
  3. Yogurt, bread crumbs, brussels sprouts, lemon
  4. Spaghetti squash, balsamic vinegar, dates, pork

Happy cooking!