Let them eat…not this cake. It’s not finished yet

Today I spent literally all day baking cakes and fondant and icing and nonsense. I’ve been on my feet since about 8, in my kitchen. I’m not even finished yet. Why, you ask? Because it’s devilishly tricky to time everything out, and I had to eat often, and then there was the fact that both cakes have several tiers.

What I’m trying to say is that I am feeling very drained, but if I must bleed into something, I’m glad it was a cake.

If you’re wondering, two children’s birthday cakes. I’ll likely have them finished tomorrow. I have to assemble them which require dowels and platforms and all that rubbish. I was going to make sugar paste animals too, but the molds didn’t arrive, so the little dear is getting plastic figurines. At least then they can play with those while the adults inhale the cake.

I have to say I don’t care if I ever see buttercream again. Ever. Powdered sugar can sard off. For all eternity. I’ve been through five bags today. Five 2lb bags. Why? Because I make my own fondant and my own icing and they both take nothing but powdered sugar.

I don’t think I’ll even end up eating the cake I’ll be so annoyed with everything.

Fondant:

1 ½ bag of small marshmallows

2 lbs powdered sugar, sifted

Cris o vegetable shortening

Melt the marshmallows in the microwave in thirty second intervals. Fold in about ¾ of the sugar. When mostly a firm lump, turn out on the table and knees, working more sugar in as you go. Keep your hands clean by rubbing them in the shortening. The fondant should stretch about two inches before it breaks. Form into a ball, smear with cris o in a thin sheen, then wrap in plastic wrap for at least 8 hours in the fridge. To color, merely work the dye into the segment you’re using. I use gel based dye. Again, shortening for the hands, powdered sugar for the table.

Buttercream:

Two sticks of butter (1 cup)

5 ½ cups sifted powdered sugar

A few TBSP milk

Vanilla extract (or some other)

Dye (if you like)

Allow the butter to come to room temp and soften, dump into standing mixer and cream it for five minutes. Add the powdered sugar in one cup at a time, incorporating the sugar at low speed, then putting up to highest speed for two minutes between each cup. Add a bit of milk and the extract as you go, using the milk to turn it creamy every time it begins to clump up too much. Add dye or leave white. This will pipe, or go beneath fondant nicely.